i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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