Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
