what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
