The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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