last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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