He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
