A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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