No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize