How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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