Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
