margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
