and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
