You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
