Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
