He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
