Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
