Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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