Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
