I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
