Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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