I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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