dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
