i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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