dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't deserve a penis
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
