I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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