Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have so many feelings about this burrito
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
