I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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