Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
