C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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