For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
