Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
