You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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