Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize