Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
