so explain again why im purple
no
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
