Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
