Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
