3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
