i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
