the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
