I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
