What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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