I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize