O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
