Say something about gay babies.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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