I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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