I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
