so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
