FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's never too late to be topless.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
