I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
