I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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