that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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