Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
