he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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