at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
