I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And then my night got REAL pukey
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
