Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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