I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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