we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
